Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
