Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
