He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
