she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
