I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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