Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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