Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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