they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
