You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
