Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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