yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
