yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
