You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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