tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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