So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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