barbara walters just said penis...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
