You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
