i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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