oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
