My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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