He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
