Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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