GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
