Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
