Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
