Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
