Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
