what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
