Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
