He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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