Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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