If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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