Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
