Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
