This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
