This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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