you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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