Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Less talking, more tequila
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
