the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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