i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
