I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
