I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
