You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
