is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
