I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Houston, we have a blender
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
