I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
