I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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