That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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