Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
