Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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