I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
He did a backflip because drugs
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
