Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
