So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
The cops high fived after they tackled you
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
