he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
