i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
