i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
